📷 from tumblr: ultimate90s
As a teenager, I have learned and realized lots of things about life and myself. Before I turn 20 in a month, I have decided to reflect and list all those things. I’m still learning and still have a long way to go and I’m thankful that I’ve got to learn about these already. So whoever you are, I hope that these will somehow help you as well!
- Know what makes you feel better
Ask yourself, what is it that makes you feel better? Is it eating ice cream? A cold drink? Or perhaps a good book to read? Whatever it is, it is important to know what makes you feel better as to help you go through a bad day. Don’t be too hard and treat yourself once in a while to keep you sane.
- Remember that at the end of the day, you have no one but only yourself
You cannot expect people to stay by your side every time you need them. People will fail you and will just disappoint you if you keep on depending on them. You have to learn how to work things out by just being alone. You have to love being alone. Be independent. You have to trust yourself and NEVER depend on other people as the source of your happiness. You cannot trust someone fully, and it’s totally fine to keep some things just for yourself. It’s not like you’re obliged to tell them everything about you. And after all, no one can really understand yourself other than you.
- Learn to say NO
“No might make them angry, but it will make you free.—- your freedom is more important than their anger.” One thing that made me realize that you cannot always depend your decisions because of the influence of the others. When you get used to saying yes, people tend to get mad at you or perhaps get annoyed at you when you finally know how to say no. But does it feels good doing something you are just forced to? Of course not. Do what your heart says. Just keep in mind that not all people will understand your reasons, so instead be the one to understand them and be mature enough to handle things.
- What people say about you don’t really matter
I used to be one of those people who gives so much deal about what others think or say about me. But then as I grew up, I’ve realized that I shouldn’t live up to people’s expectations. Well, it’s not that bad that people expect something from you because it only shows that you’re doing so well and they could foresee that you could do more. ALTHOUGH, too much of it that you could already feel the pressure is not good at all.
Also, being afraid of judgements is not healthy. Of course, judgement is something you cannot avoid. People will always judge, criticize. But, you have to remember that what people say about you, doesn’t define you as a person and not even your worth. Thinking too much of what they say will just hinder you from knowing yourself, being yourself and trying to know what you really want. What you think and how you treat yourself and others are way more important.
Do what makes you happy. Accept and love who you are. You’re actually just wasting your time thinking about pointless things that it’s starting to steal your happiness and you’re already missing out opportunities without you knowing. As long as you’re not hurting and stepping on anyone, all is good.
- Always find time for yourself
If you feel like things are stressing you out, give it a break. Find time for yourself. Do what you love, what you’re passionate about because nowadays, we tend to forget about ourselves. We give so much for people, we always want to make them happy and all, which at times would feel like it’s draining you already. Sometimes having a “me time” would be a great idea. It makes you learn and discover more about who you really are and what you really want in life.
- Never compare
Other than you making a big deal out of what people think about you, comparing yourself to others also steal your happiness. You might be asking yourself sometimes that why are there always people who are better than you. Comparing may be a good source of motivation but too much of it (again) isn’t healthy. We end up having self-doubt and it just lessen our confidence. It won’t help you, you’re just helping to destroy yourself as a person. We are all different. We possess things that others do not have. We always want what we can’t have. Life is fair because it’s unfair to everyone (haha if I even make sense here). We have to learn to accept and love ourselves for who we are. We are gifted with different things and we have to be content with that and be happy. Focus more on yourself and count your own blessings not others. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Go and be the better version of yourself!
- Be honest with your feelings
If you can’t be honest to others with what you feel, then at least be honest with yourself. You can fool other people but you cannot fool yourself. Talking to yourself about things that you aren’t comfortable telling others is a big help. Write something in a diary or in a journal or anywhere that is safe. I swear, it feels good. Before you can expect people to accept or love you, you have to start it yourself.
- Some things really take time
You should not pressure yourself into something. You cannot expect yourself to move on, be cool and be okay right away. Some things really take time and you have to understand that. You cannot be too hard or harsh to yourself, let time heal whatever it is that hurt you. Be patient and in the long run, trust me, you’ll be fine and everything’s gonna be okay. You will then understand why some things didn’t work out and you’ll definitely be thankful about it.
- Be the friend who you want to have
You want people to treat you nice? Have someone who’s appreciative? Someone who’s fun and easy to be with? Someone who always love and is willing to help? Then be like it. Just like what the golden rule says, “do to others what you would have them to do to you.” A self-explanatory quote.
Doing these things may not be as easy as i say it but trust me, one step at a time and you’ll eventually learn how to put away those negativity and you would surely end up being happy and content.