lowest point of my life (so far)

lowest point

📷 from tumblr: timbllr

As some of you may know, I’m a fresh travel management graduate. And these past few months have been so difficult for me. I feel like I’m not on the right track. I have been questioning myself, am I really for this industry?

If you have read my very first blog post, you’ll find out that it is actually my dream to be a cabin crew. And unfortunately, I’m a short girl (to those who are wondering, I’m 5’2) and local airlines here have a height requirement. After constantly getting rejected, I’ve decided to stop applying for that position for a while because I honestly have no hope here in our country. And so I started passing application to various hotels for front desk/GSO position and one local airline for a ground attendant position.

Some companies have contacted and invited me for an interview. However, I didn’t attend to some because the position they’re offering is either something I believe I wouldn’t enjoy or not really my forte. And on the other hand, the hotels where I’ve attended an interview have, unfortunately, rejected me again either because of the height requirement or I just simply didn’t meet their qualifications and wasn’t able to impress them.

Then just the other day, I found out the status of my application in this one local airline for a ground attendant position. I have passed the interview but I failed the examination. I was really sad and disappointed with myself. Then my friend told me that our other friend have passed it which made everything worse for me. Not gonna pretend, I did cry because of it. I felt like I’m on my lowest point and already doubting myself. How come she did it and I did not??

Am I ever gonna achieve something? Do I even have a potential? Will I ever get a job? Will I be successful? I felt all kinds of sadness.

But despite of it all, I am grateful beyond words because I have my best friends. They know how much I like to get that job. And I know that they know how much it hurts to get rejected again. They tried calling me right after I messaged them that I failed. I then told them not to because I’m just going to cry even more and I don’t want them to hear me crying and feeling so weak. They have comforted me so much I felt better and lighter.

The next day, honestly, I’m still in pain and it still hurts. It feels like the wound is still fresh. That is why, I tried distracting myself by doing something I am passionate about.

After having some alone time, reading various spiritual messages and thinking about what my best friends have told me, I’ve come to some realizations;

I’ve realized that it’s totally okay not to be okay. We don’t have to pretend that everything is fine when truth is it feels like the whole world is crashing down. It’s perfectly okay to cry your heart out and feel comforted with it. It’s okay to feel weak once in a while. And it’s absolutely okay to expect and be disappointed. Honestly, I don’t understand those people telling us not to expect as to avoid disappointments because how can that even be possible? We’re humans. It’s innate for us to expect most especially when it is something that you desire for so long or something that you’d die for. Perhaps, the best we could do is to prepare ourselves for the worst things that may happen and at the same time, expect for the great and positive things to happen. This is life. We will always be disappointed but that doesn’t mean that this will be a hindrance for us to continue chasing for what we want, love and dream. Let’s not make these disappointments, pain, and sadness to drag us down and give up. Let this serves as our motivation to be better and continue doing our best.

Keep moving forward. Keep believing. Keep hoping.  Ask help from the above. Don’t give up on your future.

Some things may really not be meant for us. Surely, it’s gonna hurt most especially if it really matters but be smart enough not to let your emotions get the best of you. God will always make us feel uncomfortable, awkward, and go through problems and challenges only because he wants us to grow. He is preparing us for whatever it is he has planned for us. Let us trust him, his plans and his timing. He certainly has something greater in store for us.

Success of other people doesn’t make us some sort of a loser or whatnot.  This shouldn’t be a reason for us to doubt ourselves and our own capabilities. Don’t make this as a discouragement. Let’s make our own path and never give up. God has set time for everyone’s opportunity. Likewise, nothing and nobody can block the blessings we deserve to experience in our life. What’s for us is for us. There’s no competition or worry. Just trust.

He is going to use all that negative energy to prepare us, to mold and to propel us into our destiny. 

Sometimes removing some things out of our life and closing doors that we thought are a great opportunity for us make room for greater things.

We may not understand it right now, but soon enough everything will make sense and we would all be grateful that we went through these.

Also, at the end of the day, what’s important is the blessings that we have right now. Our family, friends, supportive and positive people surrounding us. They genuinely keep me going. Hard times make me realize even more how lucky I am to be rich not with money but with these kinds of people.

Despite of the situations I’m going through, I know that I can still be happy with what I have at the moment and enjoy it as much as I could before everything changes. Because surely, in the future, I would look back on this moment and I wouldn’t want to disappoint my future self for worrying so much that I let this steal my happiness and that I have been so weak. I want my future self to be proud of me for not giving up and for not letting the small things drag me down.

We must always keep in mind that when things fall apart, consider the possibility that life knocked it down on purpose. Not to bully or to punish us but to prompt us to build something that better suits our personality and our purpose. As much as we want to plan our life, it has a way of surprising us with unexpected things that will make us happier that we originally planned. That’s what we call god’s will.

*note: italicized words/statements are actually from what I’ve read during the previous days*

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52 thoughts on “lowest point of my life (so far)

  1. I am so sorry about your disappointments :(. It seems unfair that being short would be so limiting. I am a short girl too at 4’11. I think you are wise to be selective about the interviews that you choose to accept. Hang in there and don’t give up. The perfect job will come your way. ❤ Alana

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sorry to hear about your rejection and that exam…….but its great to see that you have not given up…….
    i have not been a success yet, but have faced a lot and i mean a lot of failures…….i won’t say it gets easy, it does not……but i have learnt to never give up…..no matter what…..never. Fall down, cry, bleed but never give up…….
    being persistent is my strategy!
    anyways……..pardon my ramblings…….
    All the best to you…….!!! 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Dissapointment sucks big time, especially when it’s something you are passionate for and it fails, again when it’s something you can’t even control (your height), but then, I believe that there is a reason for everything. If you tried your best in the test and ended up failing, believe that you failed for a reason. God is preparing you for something else, something you would like, and something that would make you happy. Moments of doubt arises in every aspect of our life, but I’m glad that you are able to accept it use it as lessons for yourself.
    Take care❤

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I hear you and believe me when I say that I know exactly what you are feeling. Please do not give up and continue trying. ❤️ Your time will come ☀️ I will pray for you. Thank you for inspiring us with your words.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I have been failing in most of my endeavors for the past two years and I am absolutely not comfortable with failures.
    I know how you feel. I know how heart shatters into million pieces after trying. But Things are going to work out sooner or later. It hasn’t for me yet but I believe they can only get better from now on wards. I am grateful for everything i am blessed with. It’s life you see. It is a fucked up journey. We have to deal with it. 🙂
    All the best and I wish you only the best and more. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • awww idky but it feels really comforting knowing that someone out there (like you) shares the same feelings as me. Makes me feel like I’m not alone in this battle. And i honestly can’t wait for that time to come where we’re going to look back on this moment and just laugh about what we are currently going through 🙂 yaaas, all the best for the both of us! 🙏💓

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Whenever I see the title of you post, it generally feels like pain. And honestly you have stolen my imagination. Life is the biggest challenge, but your way of looking at it is inspirational. I know how it feels to be unsuccessful, it’s not something we can explain. It takes courage to accept failure. If I put it in metaphors, this is what just happened, you proposed a guy, he rejected you, and you end up saying,”Never mind, I’m so beautiful(from your heart too) that I can get a better man for me and will be even happier. All I can say is, continue doing what you love, as long as you do that, nothing in the world can stop you from being satisfied. You are best being you!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Keep your head up, my friend. The hospitality business can be fun, but only if you work for the right management company and a good GM. Then again, that can be said about any job, but i believe it holds true especially in hotels. I worked in a handful of hotels over 10 years and have a degree in Hotel/Motel Administration and my ultimate goal was to end up in Las Vegas, but God chose a different path for me. I know he has the right one for you too!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Keep your chin up! I am curious, though. Is E your SL? I kind of pick up on that in your writing style and by how you express yourself. I was the same height and if they like you well enough, you can still get hired, as I did. I am bi-lingual but do not have an accent. I have a friend with the same abilities but her accent is quite strong and she cannot get the opportunities I can because of it. This can be an issue, especially for public jobs. Ask your friends and if that’s the case, work on it. Listen to yourself on a recorder and practice, practice, practice. If that is not the issue then see the following suggestions:

    A tip. Be neat and clean, especially your hair. Be yourself and assume you already got the job and are part of the team. If appropriate ask them questions. Do your homework. Find out who will be interviewing you (if you can) and learn something about them. Definitely know the details of the company, it’s history and all that. Act like you care about them and the company. Doing your homework is always valuable. In the airline business they are hiring an image. Do you fit the image? How do you compare to others you’ve seen? Are you shy? Make your interview engaging. Are you in command? Ask questions. What are they looking for? What are their expectations? Small people can command a presence. You will need to enlist them to your side. Show them you care. What can you do to pass their exams? Don’t go in with a defeatist attitude,(like you’ve lost before you begin) or for that matter a “hungry” attitude (as though you will starve if you don’t get it). They can see that a mile away. They don’t want downer people. Your interview is a role you play and you are the star… and stars win. The best of luck to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • i’m sorry but what do you mean by “is e your SL?” 😅 that’s what I actually do whenever I’m about to go through an interview. When I was still applying for airlines (for cabin crew position), what they do is check our height first. And if we did not meet the min height req, we’re automatically eliminated and can’t go through the next process. That’s why i did not even get a chance to be interviewed 😣 i had interviews with some hotels and they will always tell me that i have a good communication skills and could see that I’m customer centric however they are really strict with the height req most especially it’s for front. And that’s when they will suggest other position. Then just recently i think i messed up because the interviewer seems really intimidating that i stuttered and all 😩 ugh. But thank you so much for this. I’ll always keep this in mind!

      Liked by 1 person

      • ESL Is English your Second Language. I was only 5’2 and still got hired, but that was many years ago. Now so much of the process is done online anymore, that you don’t really have a chance to make an impression. My son has noticed that as well. Well, I hope at least that some of my tips will help someone.

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      • No it was not awkward but distinct to second language. I don’t know how to explain it because I believe I spoke Spanish first as a child but I’m not really certain. My father spoke English, but my mother spoke Spanish. I have to catch myself with structure and mixed tenses all the time, so I seem to notice. (smile)

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  9. It sounds like you have a healthy resiliency to failure. It is often the best teacher but I can also pull the rug out from under us and make us think the worst about ourselves.
    When you can, you might want to step back, maybe with an empathetic but honest friend, and ask why. Most of the time, and it’s very normal, we think about what and how things happen. If we can ask why things happened we can often discover the sticking points that are getting in our way.
    Note that this has to come from a healthy place – not a place of self-criticism or shame.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You ask some great questions: “Am I ever gonna achieve something?” Yes. More than you can imagine right now. “Do I even have a potential?” You have tons of potential. You also need to understand a little bit about time. All those famous overnight success stories you hear are nonsense. Everything takes time. Make time your friend. “Will I ever get a job?” Yes. And it will not just be the right fit for you, but where you belong as well. Aim higher. Don’t settle. “Will I be successful?” Yes. And you will fail, too, and possibly lose everything. I have. More than once. “I felt all kinds of sadness” Why shouldn’t you? Feel your feelings and keep moving. It is okay to not be okay because the most important thing is your humanness. Not being okay is what it is to be human. Embrace your complexity. Embrace your story, i.e., your life and live it.

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  11. Since you have given your life to God, he is going to give you a job where you will be the most help to the people there. He knows exactly where he wants you to be. Trust in him; wait on the Lord. I can’t wait to see what is going to happen!

    Liked by 1 person

    • hey cheer up! You may not receive a placement offer right now but, surely, soon you will! We don’t know what the future has in store for us. And whatever it is, I believe it’s something greater than what we actually want or planned. Just have faith ☺❤ don’t let this bring you down.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. This post really inspired me. So much around us tells us that, if only we meditated/ate right/thought positive thoughts/didn’t gossip/slept the full 8 hours a night, we would be living “properly.” I, too, am 5′ 3″ and I can’t imagine being rejected over height. Best of luck!

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  13. It is totally okay not to be okay. Having faith when facing rejection after rejection is blimmin hard sometimes – but hang in there girl. You haven’t got those other jobs because something more amazing is coming your way. Believe it ! hugs Ali

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  14. I’ve been in that situation before. And the worst thing I was thinking that time is why am I existing in this world. I was on that point so helpless and dont know what will gonna happen in my life. My morale is totally down. Thank God, he gave me a mother who is very supportive and never give up and always believe in what I can do. Finally I get the job I wanted and I feel my worth as a person. ☺

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      • In life we learned from struggles and problems. Those experiences will make us strong. Although, sometimes its very tiring but we have to accept that is part of our life. I also had a problem looking for a job before. I’ve experienced criticism from my relatives because I having a hard time looking for a job. It’s hard when you heard what they said about you. I am introvert, low self-esteem person I dont believe in what I can do. Luckily with God’s grace and my supportive family I was able to overcome everything. I can relate very much on your post and enjoyed reading it. Keep it up!

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