awkward questions you should avoid asking a gal who has never been in a relationship

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📷 from tumblr: easyluckyfree

High five to those gals who have never been in a relationship since birth! LOL

Admit it, every time you meet new people they would always end up asking you.. “do you have a boyfriend?” and that’s the time the situation would turn out really awkward for you because they would start throwing you questions you’re not interested to answer.

I know, I know. This is certainly not something to be embarrassed of but some make it feel like we’re not a normal person when truth is we’re just chillin, enjoying life and going with the flow.

Gals like us may have flirted with some guys but it didn’t last for long either because they’re not ready to commit or they’re after that something (y’know it) and I’m not just into that thing.

I have listed only five of many awkward and common questions people ask and this is what I, and probably some gals, think:

  1. Seriously, why?? You’re a beautiful girl!

what actually goes on my mind: it’s like you indirectly saying that there’s something wrong with me and my personality and it’s honestly making me feel bad. Some of us may be really too sensitive and tend to overthink this kind of questions. If you don’t want to hear us sarcastically answer you with this statement “I was ugly, that’s why”, just stop. I know you’re curious but one question would be enough, thank you.

  1. Were you super focused on your studies before that you never had time with boys?

what actually goes on my mind: no, not really. I’m a gal and I would love to experience that kilig feeling too. It’s just that no one’s really into me and I’m not freakin desperate to go over guys just so I’ll be like other people who are in a cool relationship.

  1. Nobody showed any interest in dating you?? How come??

what actually goes on my mind: I really don’t know what to answer to this one. How would I know?

     4. Are your parents too strict that they don’t want you to enter a relationship yet?

what actually goes on my mind: nope. My mom is unbelievably open with this and is beyond excited than me to have one. It’s just that the right person’s not here yet.

  1. You’re probably too choosy.

what actually goes on my mind: is that so wrong for a person to be choosy?? We have different standards and I hope people would understand that. You may like this certain person for me but it would still be up to me to decide because it’s me who would be in the relationship.

Most of the time, I would just try and end the topic by answering idk. I don’t really feel like explaining myself and it would just be clearly pointless. I and some gals out there are enjoying and loving the single life. No pressure, no other responsibilities. And maybe, this is what’s best for us (for now).

We want to save and travel first. Build ourselves and be successful. As so when the right person comes, we wouldn’t be too dependent on our partner.

 

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24 thoughts on “awkward questions you should avoid asking a gal who has never been in a relationship

  1. I think a lot of people expect everyone to follow the exact same cookie cutter path in life, but they just need to accept that not everyone is going to live the same sort of life. And there’s nothing wrong with following a different path. 🙂 We as people should do what makes us happy or what leads us toward our own short term and long term goals in our individual lives. Plus, there’s nothing wrong with not dating. It’s like how people expect everyone to get married and have kids. It’s no one else’s business.

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  2. Thank you for writing this! I’m sure I get these questions directed at me (mentally) all the time. Nobody asks me outright anymore–guess they’ve given up. I just never knew what to say, or I’d ramble and babble and they’d back away slowly as if maybe they just figured part of it out. Either way, yeah, it’s annoying. I’ve yet to hear a guy asked why he’s not dating anyone, but ladies are always asked.

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  3. LOL I’ve done that! But, I’m learning. My grand daughter has a child but dates rarely and I stayed with her and saw that she has quite bit of common sense. My niece is getting married at 37 now but she didn’t play around. She has a great career in advertising and I think she’s been quite sensible in her life choices. I think intelligent young people are not rushing into things so much. It’s not all about hormones, but about life choices and learning who you are and what you want. Smart. I wish I’d done that.

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  4. Well, I’m still single (and retired) and before everyone says, “What’s wrong with YOU!!” let me say I now have plenty of time for my life’s passion (art and graphics), which in the past I managed to squeeze in round a busy career. Try doing that with a husband and kids to look after. I made my decision fairly early on in life, and though I had a few relationships, no-one came along that changed my mind. I am quite content – but as you say, people are always wanting to fit you into THEIR mold. I’m quite happy to be different. 🙂

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      • Thank you so much. Just as an add-on, I remember the pressure when friends were married – though probably not too heavy because I didn’t have close lifelong friends due to an itinerant army lifestyle as a child . I can also remember the frequent comments that not getting married was ‘selfish’. How they made that out in a world struggling to feed all the hungry mouths, beats me. Rearing a family isn’t the only way to serve others – blessings to you, and don’t ever be pressured.

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  5. O.K, I will admit that I didn’t read the whole post, but just the premise and maybe I’m wrong when you say, when people ask you if you don’t have a boyfreind…….that will suggest other women talking to a woman, so my quick response and not one that is politicaly corect to say is,
    no I have no boyfriend because I’m single and ready to mingle, you are a individual, forget about putting people in a box, as saying you are a women and you are a men, no, you are an individual, although there is obvious differences between those type of individuals, so point being
    YOU should by me dinner in a burger king, or I also like Chinesse food, so your choice as an individual
    or the choice could be to not respond or give me a mean answer with no basics, but I m still reallly waiting for th burger

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  6. For me this question only comes up when I am talking to someone I might be interested in. I wouldn’t ask a stranger or someone I wasn’t possibly attracted to. And if it happens to come out that the person has never been in a relationship, I would usually follow up with either ‘oh, okay, so what would you say you are looking for in someone’ or ‘ah I see, is a relationship something you’ve been wanting to pursue or aren’t interested in right now’. No accusations or assumptions. Don’t think there’s any harm in that, right? Just trying to navigate the same relational mines like everyone else.

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  7. Just recently I was struck speechless by one of those questions. I was showing a book that I wrote about my father to a man who I thought might have been interested in showcasing the book in his establishment. After I handed him the book he said “Oh, I see you still have your maiden name, why haven’t you gotten married yet, you’re nice looking”. At first I wasn’t sure I had heard him correctly and I just stared at him, realizing my brain had shut down-I had no prepared answer. After a few seconds he laughed and changed the subject, I was able to finally just smile and thank him for his time. It was as if I was somehow not legally a real grown woman because I did not have a man’s last name other than my father’s. My opinion is people like that man have antiquated thinking. I have dated a lot of men, but have not found that “one” yet. And I’m cool with it. I didn’t take my time getting into a relationship, matter of fact, I started much too early. But what I did realize as an adult that a woman does not need a man to take her to the movies. When I bought my first stove I realized a woman did not have to marry a man to get a stove, or a refrigerator. I think you realize that you do not have to explain your private life to anyone. So keep on chillin’ homegurrl.

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    • this happens a lot 😒 I agree tho! Nothing beats the feeling of being able to provide for yourself and not being too dependent on people + we don’t necessarily need a significant other to be happy. If something’s meant to happen, then it will. And yasss, it’s not like we owe people an explanation of what’s happening in our own lives. That’s why sometimes it’s better to just keep quiet and let them think what they want to 😉❤❤ thank you so much for sharing!!!

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  8. exactly, I totally agree with you. and maybe people who ask these questions insensitively should consider that maybe some choose to not get into a relationship right away because they have different priorities in life

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  9. You’ve seriously written my mind! I’ve never been in a relationship and they call me a “nun” because I’m waiting for a person with whom I atleast have something real. It’s crazy that people get into a relationship just because others are. It’s become something like a status or popularity status.

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  10. This is such a relatable post! As some one who is single yet constantly surrounded by couple the questions just pile on it’s good to know I’m not the only one out there haha

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